Sermons from Lone
Rock Bible Church Honoring Parents, Honoring God (Part 2) God’s command that His people
honor their parents extends to His authority in all of life, as we shall see in this
discussion of the fifth of the Ten Commandments. 1. Background and authority (Part 1) I am going to read both places in
Scripture where this Commandment is stated, Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. They are the same
Commandment. Interestingly, they are given a number of years apart, the Exodus Commandment
at Mount Sinai; repeated in Deuteronomy after the wandering in the Wilderness for 40
years. I think there are some interesting distinctions to be made. Exodus
20:12 Deuteronomy
5:16 I am going to start in the New
Testament. There are a couple “shopping lists” in the New Testament that are
somewhat troubling, or should be, because they describe what it looks like when things are
bad. One, a very well known passage in Romans, describes a spiral into immorality ending
with this list by the apostle Paul that includes some pretty high profile sins:
unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice;
gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient
to parents. Isn’t that interesting? Doesn’t that almost jump at us, not only
because we are dealing with the Ten Commandments, but doesn’t it almost seem like an
anomaly, like it shouldn’t be in that list? We talk about all these character issues
that are generated from within and that look like sin and are sin, and suddenly --
disobedient to parents. Let me give you another from the same
author, the apostle Paul, in II Timothy 3. This is the last of Paul’s writings. 1But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will
come. We had, years ago in a community in
central Montana, sort of a youth group. There were individuals there who desperately
needed to be there. Their home lives left much to be desired. They were trouble everywhere
they went. One young man in particular ran his mouth beyond “to a fault” and at
one point irritated a kindly old teacher of some 30 years tenure who was retiring that
year. The teacher took hold of the young man and up against the wall he went. When I was a kid, if you got in
trouble at school, you had better look out because that’s nothing compared to what
Dad is going to do when he gets home. The young man got home and Dad got on the phone. Not
only did he call the superintendent of schools, he also called a lawyer. “How dare
you treat my son that way!” I filed that one away in the old
memory bank and a number of years ago I read about recent crimes committed, felony
offenses, that sort of thing. I did see a name in that list that I recognized and it was
one of those young men. The Bible says in Psalm 11, if the
foundations are destroyed, what will the righteous do? There is no question but in
Scripture the foundation of authority along home life and social order is the honoring of
one’s parents. If you have lived much life at all beyond the four walls of your home,
most likely when we leave home we will find out quickly enough which people were reared to
honor their parents and those who were not. It’s interesting how they get into
trouble with every authority structure they come up against. Honor your father and your mother
certainly is sound domestic advice, not to mention it is a commandment from the God of
heaven. It also is foundational for every branch of authority in any ordained institution
God puts down before us. God is the God of authority. Parents are the first line of that
established authority among people and the Fifth Commandment is all about honoring parents
as though we were honoring God. That is where this is going. Last week we talked about the
background of the orderliness and the authority of God. We said things about the
orderliness and authority of God in His Person, just who He is. He is the orderliness and
authority in creation, orderliness and authority among His people. The point of the
orderliness and authority of God for you and for me is that we may experience safety and
security in Him and know what that is and live that way. On the other hand we would have
to deal with chaos, happenstance, chance. When
the inmates run the institution nothing goes well and nobody is safe or secure. Today we are going to get into the
verses that I read earlier a little more specifically. We’ll talk about what the
Bible says about this authority business from these verses in Exodus and Deuteronomy. The
first word we’re going to discuss is “honor.” The word honor as the Command
indicates is a huge word in and of itself. It is an expression of the Hebrew word kabed
and if you have ever studied anything along those lines you know that kabed is
the word that is used for the glory of God. It is the word that means heavy, weighty, of
serious gravity before the Lord. It’s a word that connects parents as an institution
established by God with the character of God Himself. It is a huge word. It means to
regard as significant, may I say highly significant with heavy respect due. Why? Because
God put them there as His representatives and that is a big deal. The emphasis on the word has an
interesting twist to it. Parents, I think sometimes fall into the misunderstanding that in
order to be a good parent, a parent has to be on a friendly relationship with the
children. That is not necessarily so. Honoring parents has nothing to do with sentiment.
It has secondarily to do with relationship. Honor has everything to do with a position as
God’s representative. I can recall at one point having to
render a salute to a superior. I was reminded on that occasion that you are not saluting
the person because he or she might be a jerk, you salute the position, the rank, because
if you do not, once there is no rank distinction, chaos and insecurity then reigns. It has
everything to do with position, less to do with relationship, less still to do with
sentiment. Malachi 1:6 says, “A son honors
his father, a servant his master.” Really, sentiment is not here. It is position that
is in view. God goes on to say, “Then if I am a Father, where is My honor.” He
is castigating His people for really being not much improved. As you know, they have been
sent away to exile. A servant honors his master. We are to honor our parents. Here is another interesting twist. The
Bible says every one of you honor your father and your mother. This is not just for
children. This is a life-long command. To hold the position of parent in high esteem for
the Lord’s sake as a constant reminder that He is a God of structure, of order, of
authority, and He is a God who has sovereignly placed us where and with whom He desires.
It is an expression of respect for His sovereignty and His authority. Honor, that is to
say, regard as significant and treat with respect in the deepest sense, your father and
your mother, the two parents whom God has placed as His representatives directly in your
life. There is another passage, Leviticus
19:3, it is simply a repetition of the verse, only with yet another word used. Every one
of you shall reverence his mother and his father.” Reverence them. Reverence is
another word for fear. Hold them in awesome regard, respect to a point of willingness to
obey. The word is applied not only here to parents, but certainly elsewhere in Scripture a
number of different places applied to God. In Habakkuk 3:2, “I have heard the report
about you,” speaking of the Lord, “and I fear.” It is a reflection of
healthy respect for the size and magnitude and holiness of God in heaven, with whom we can
never get too comfortable because He is always high and lifted up, lofty and exalted and
holy, holy, holy. There should be a healthy fear on the part of God’s people who
respect Him, toward God Himself. Deuteronomy 21-- as we do a little
looking through the first five books of the Bible. Here are instructions on what to do
when the Commandment is not honored. Let me say in advance: we are going to talk here
about stoning this kid. In a week we are at the next Commandment and there is much to say
about ending life. So if this is disconcerting to you, come back in a week and hopefully
we can help. Deuteronomy
21 God is determined that there be
quality control exercised among His people, that at all costs they not become confused
with the nations they are supposed to dispossess. Does that sound a little strict? Just as
an aside, there is no evidence that this actually happened or was recorded in Scripture.
Had it happened, who can say how much longer Israel would have lasted as a nation. We must honor, reverence, and fear. Reverence, honor, and fear are supposed to, in God’s
large plan for his people, bring us to obedience. Whom we honor, we obey. Obedience, then,
brings God’s blessing. There is a chain of events here that God has designed for the
children of Israel. Reverence leads to obedience, which leads to blessing and which means
God is honored. God is magnified. God looks good. The point of Deuteronomy 21 episode is
that you people need to fear God more than you fear any other being. If God is feared more than any other,
many problems take their proper place. On the other hand, without authority, if the young
man of Deuteronomy 21 or the young man of the community where I used to live, if these
individuals are allowed to be the order of the day there will be no order in the day and
we will have nothing but chaos. There will be no safety. There will be no security, and
God will not be honored in that. He is after His honor. We have two reasons why we are
supposed to honor parents based on these verses. We talked about the words -- honor,
reverence, fear, and so forth -- now a couple reasons. First of all, it is self-evident.
Honor them because of the high position they occupy. Joseph, in the Old Testament book of
Genesis, was not the pharaoh, but he might as well have been. Wherever Joseph went in the
chariot that was given to him, everyone was told to bow the knee as though this was the
pharaoh. He was not the pharaoh. He was second to pharaoh. The pharaoh said you might as
well be me out there. Very similarly God gives us parents in that role. Our regard for our
parents is a direct reflection of our regard for God regardless of how old we are. We honor parents first of all because
of a high position occupied. Joseph was a shepherd, a Hebrew, a slave, out of prison. He
was a nobody, but he was elevated and he was honored accordingly. Secondly, we honor because of what
they know. Scripture gives a bit of elaboration here. Honor parents because of what they
know. In Exodus 20, when the Commandment was first given, “Honor your father and your
mother that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God has given you,”
what did they know in Exodus 20? They knew all about what it was to be
a slave. They knew all about oppression in a foreign land. They knew how to make bricks
without straw. They knew what the lash of a whip felt like. They knew about ten horrific
plagues on their host country. They knew about packing hurriedly. They knew about
slaughtering a lamb they had seen for days. They knew about safety under the blood. They
knew about crossing the Red Sea on dry ground and they knew about God being victorious.
They knew a lot and they were to teach that. They were to remind their children and
grandchildren constantly of what they know. Honor them; they know stuff. I have waited for years to say this:
Parents really do know more than their kids. Honor them for what they know. Scroll forward about 40 years to the
wilderness wanderings. That first generation of parents who knew all that are now pushing
up daisies; they are gone. All those over the age of 20 perished in the Wilderness. There
were graves everywhere because they perished due to their disobedience and they wandered
in the wilderness. They finally come to the east side of the Jordan River opposite
Jericho. It is time to enter the land. In Deuteronomy they are given the second law. What do these people know? They know
how to have a funeral and I don’t mean that facetiously. They understand what is at stake. They understand
what happens when God gives instructions and offers Himself in relationship and He is
shunned or disobeyed. They are beginning to get a clue as far as what the cost is as they
sit on the east side of the Jordan River preparing to cross. They further know God’s grace in
travel. I wonder how far into the 40 years it was before they noticed their sandals were
not wearing out. A person who makes his or her living on her feet realizes how long you
can go before you need a new pair of shoes to do what you do. I wonder how many years went
by before they took a look at the soles of their sandals and said I don’t see much
wear here, despite walking on blistering sand and rock and so forth. God gave them grace in the Wilderness.
I wonder if the manna of which they got so weary was actually God’s gesture of grace.
I wonder if when they took a sip from the water He provided them graciously in the
Wilderness they stopped and remembered. When finally they entered the Promised
Land and were given places of real estate to occupy -- they could walk right into a house
they didn’t have to build, draw water from a well they didn’t have to dig, and
pick fruit from an orchard they didn’t have to wait to mature. They knew things, and
it was their responsibility to pass those truths on to their children. In Deuteronomy 6, I’m going to
read a couple verses. The people are on the east side of the Jordan River. They can look
across the way and there are the walls of Jericho, standing before them. They are
wondering just how God is going to pull this off and they are being challenged to trust.
This is what Moses tells them: 1"Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments
which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land
where you are going over to possess it, 2so that you and your son and your grandson might fear
the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all
the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. 3"O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that
it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of
your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. Which, by the way, you don’t even
begin to deserve to occupy. This business of living long in the land -- please don’t
misinterpret Scripture at this point -- does not have to do with longevity for you and me.
How old is old? I don’t know. It isn’t about how long you or I might live. This
is a promise that is connected to the agreement at Sinai long before. This is not so that
you or I might live to be old people. This is so that God’s people might enjoy life
in the land longer. That was one of the blessings of Deuteronomy 28 and Leviticus 26 --
the blessing and the cursing. Blessed are you if this happens. Cursed are you if this
happens. One of the blessings God promises
people for their obedience is that you get to live there longer, not that you get to live
a long life, particularly, because we know that things go wrong in life and it does not
always last as long as we might expect. It doesn’t have to do with lifespan, but the
blessing of Sinai covenant. Here is what is good about that. If
you do, if part of your obedience has to do with honoring your parents, as you should,
then you will shine for the God of Israel. You will look good, as you should for Him. You
will represent Him well. And in representing Him well, you are His disciple, fulfilling
His commission to all the nations. In this economy, the Old Testament, the nation of
Israel was to obey God and be blessed so that all the surrounding nations would be drawn.
That is evangelism, and they were drawn as God’s people honored God. It didn’t
work that way because God’s people took the bit in their mouths and ran the other
direction. But that was a design so someone who was honoring his parents was someone who
actually was fulfilling God’s plan of evangelism, reaching the lost. It was happening
and I don’t think that has changed at all. May I suggest an observation from my
short life? It seems to me that a rebellious,
independently spirited, resistant believer is lacking humility, the humility that goes
with honoring one in position. Lacking in humility, lacking in a submissive, obedient
attitude to the God of heaven. That is a poor testimony for the Lord. We are to shine for
Him, just as these folks were to shine for Him. That is His will so that He gets to look
good and draw the lost to Himself. God’s Authority in You and Me We will leave this Commandment,
hopefully on a practical note. In the nation of Israel long ago, in the days of
Deuteronomy and Exodus, the family, the government, the religion and the occupation were
all intertwined. God, His presence and His will and His rules and His institutions
saturated everything so that His authority in that way was just understood. What God
wants, He should get in every dimension of life. It was a given. Parental authority was
understood simply to be fundamental. It was just what they did because of who God was and
because of what God had said. Yet Scripture helps us as the Bible
unfolds through time, we get some practical how to’s in Proverbs. We get how to honor
our parents, from Proverbs. We get how to participate in what I would call a godly and
fruitful legacy. I am finishing a biography of John
Adams, second president of the United States. It is fascinating. In one point, in the
formation of our nation 200 plus years ago, there was a split in philosophy as far as how
our nation was supposed to go. Some felt that states’ rights were everything and that
the states needed to stay as autonomous as possible. Others felt that a strong central
government was essential. Adams was among those so was accused of being a monarchist. We
might as well be subject to England, then, if we are going to have a strong central
government. So Adams was accused of being a
monarchist and one who would embrace the notion of royal lineage ruling. This is not true,
but this was the accusation that was leveled at him. Here is his response. He put in
writing, in which he talks about his family. I think the expression speaks for itself.
What he is reflecting here is his participation in a legacy of authority and honor with
his parents and grandparents and beyond and what that amounts to. John Adams wrote: “My father, grandfather,
great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather were all inhabitants of Braintree,
Massachusetts, and all independent, country gentlemen. I mean officers in the militia and
deacons in the church. The line I have just described makes about 160 years in which no
bankruptcy was ever committed, no widow or orphan ever defrauded, no redemptor intervened,
and no debt was contracted with England.” He is saying my heritage is one of
family and authority -- militia, church, family, government, and church family. He is
touching on these three as God’s ordained institutions and is saying we have honored
our family here, my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents
and this is the fruit of it, where I stand before you today, he says. We have nothing to apologize for. The example challenges me, at least,
and should challenge us I would think, to shore up or to continue, or at least to begin a
God-honoring family legacy beginning with our own home. I have four ways to do this. Here
is how to honor our parents from Proverbs. This is not an exhaustive treatment. I have
four pieces of advice. I didn’t make them up; I just organized them. First -- pursue wisdom. If you want to
honor parents, begin by pursuing wisdom. Proverbs 2 Proverbs
10:1 Pursue wisdom. Wisdom is a simple
matter of ordering life, that is, choices and priorities, around the presence and the will
of God. Foolishness means we ignore Him or we consider Him irrelevant. Wisdom means we
build on Him. Proverbs
17:21 Secondly -- learn to listen. The Bible
talks about listening. As I have studied through these proverbs, the Bible talks about
listening with an inclination to obey. The Bible nowhere says blindly obey because there
are times we receive instructions that are ungodly or unbiblical and then it is time to
obey God rather than man regardless the source of those instructions. But listen
submissively and attentively with a view toward obeying. Proverbs
1:8 Proverbs
3:12 Listen to him! Be attentive to the
correction. Proverbs
4:1 Proverbs
13:1 There are many. Pursue wisdom. Learn
to listen. Third, care for and protect your
parents. These are interesting proverbs because they don’t say how to do it; they
just say this is what happens if you don’t. It assumes that is what we are going to
do and what we are going to want to do. Care for and protect them. Proverbs
19:26 Look out for them. Protect them. Proverbs
20:20 Part of caring for them is protecting
them. Part of that is speaking well of them. Sometimes, in all honesty, there are parents
about whom there is not much to say positively. Find something, or say nothing at all.
Guard words with regard to parents. Do not forsake your mother when she is old, the
Proverb says (Proverbs 30:17). Fourth, keep good company. My mother
was so good at this. In my growing up years, beginning very early on, I would bring
friends home. I didn’t realize it, but they would have to pass Mom’s test. She
just seems to have a way of saying, “I don’t think I want you playing with that
kid any more.” Or saying, “That’s a pretty good kid. I’d like to see
more of him.” Or, “Yes, you can go to his house.” She cared about the
company and I can’t think of a time that she was wrong. She just had a way. Part of honoring parents, I think the
Bible would teach here, is to keep good company. Proverbs
28:7 Proverbs
28:24 Proverbs
29:3 Keep good company. This is a transitional commandment. It
takes us vertically from God now horizontally with people. It lays the foundation for
those relationships. The next five Commandments have been utterly confused in our society
and in the church. Killing, adultery, theft, lying, these things, we find all manner of
explanations and alibis for these in the world and sadly, even in the church. If we understand the fifth one, if we grasp the notion of authority, that being God’s authority, we are way ahead in making sense of the final five. We must settle this Fifth Commandment in our hearts before addressing the rest of the list, which are meaningful only as we first honor God’s authority. "Scripture
taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Jim Carlson 2006, Lone Rock Bible Church, Stevensville Montana, USA |